Over the last
few weeks I have been offered the following helpful advice or words of comfort…
“It’s only a number”
“You’re as young as
you feel”
“Life Begins at 40!”
None of
these words offer any consolation in the slightest of course, as the milestone
I’ve hit today sends shudders down my spine. Just say it out loud - FORTY. What a horrible sound it makes.
To those
that have yet to reach this anniversary it sounds like this:
To a child under 11 - “Do numbers go that high!”
To a child aged 11-15 - “Ha ha I’ll never be that old!”
To an adult under 25 - “By that age I’m going to have hit all my goals or I’m going to top
myself”
To an adult aged 25-29 - “Forget that… 30’s on the way”
To an adult aged 30 - “Bloody hell next stop 40!”
To an adult aged 31-35 - “Ha ha a few of my friends are turning 40!”
To an adult aged 35-38 - “It’s getting close, I’m going to think about something else”
To an adult aged 39 - “Oh shit!”
Those over 40
always respond with the same comments to the reaction of turning 40…
“You wait till you
get to my age”
and“It only goes quicker from there!”
…this isn’t by way of sympathy or empathy, no it’s usually with more then a hint of pure loathing!
Here are a
list of symptoms you will probably have suffered all or some of if you have
reached this grand old age:
A Bad back
Muscle ache
Finding Gandalf the Grey in the shrubbery
around the mighty oak (thankfully I’ve yet to reach this landmark!)
Bad knees
Getting out of bed without an audible
gasp becomes impossible
The hope that you WILL get some socks for Christmas
A Bad back
The inability to comprehend that Top
Gun came out thirty years ago
Repeating oneself without realising
Of course I can console myself with the thought that I have a fabulous wife and two wonderful children… at least they’re not FORTY... now that would make me feel old! But then you start doing the maths, when my seven year old son turns forty I’ll be (hold on let me get the calculator out, I’m not as quick mentally as I used to be!)… yes that’s it… I’ll be bloody ancient. I’m not even going to think about my 3 month old daughter!
I suppose I had better learn to accept it and get on with my life… right I’m off down the McLaren garage to get a nice new motor.
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